The Brother

You never walk alone, nobody does. You aren't alone when you are flipping through the pages of a book in a vacant library. You aren't alone when you walk down the murky roads. You aren't alone when you run around your home in the bare minimum. Nor are you alone when you are giving in to the drowsiness of night. 

As there is someone who is accompanying you. He's the one who takes all the various forms and does cameos in other people's stories. He's the one whose faint footsteps follow you in the loneliest of places. He's the one touching you as the wind blows by and he's the one who sings the silent lullabies of nightmares.

Those who have befriended him are the ones you see walking past you with the bright smiles. While the crimson blood of those who tried to fight him still drips through their eyes. And the ones who tried to hide from him are the ones about whom all the notorious storytellers like to write about.

So, today I'll tell you a story of one such brave soul who tried his best to conceal the gospel truth.

He wasn't smart nor charming. He didn't have any knowledge of trends nor was he gifted by any talents. His face wasn't a memorable one nor was he passionate about anything. He was just the one in the millions of others faces. He might even have crossed your path. Perhaps picked up your 'kerchief. Held the elevator for you or showed you the direction. Maybe you have even shared an awkward smile sometime. He was a good guy that way.

He worked at local school and lived in one of those identical row houses on the East side of The Green Lake. His day consisted of reading and attending the students at school. Dinner at the local diner and a walk around the lake before heading home to his beloved sister.

One month after the incident with his sister, he was trying to settle back into his schedule. After a tiring day, he climbed the steps and stood in front of his door before finally unlocking it. He dragged himself through a dead house and took a shower. The voice of water hitting the floor vibrated through the silence as crimson water flowed down his body. He closed the tap and unclog the drain to make way for the dirt to flow.

He dried his hair and went to a room with a table in the centre, a window at the back and a wall lined with bookshelves. Which he called his study. Somehow, the scent of wood never deserted the room like the shine of new furniture. 

He sat down and opened the new diary he had bought recently. He wrote the date, his name on the top corner of the first page and started to write small sentences about his day, recalling even the minute details. He was advised to think about the five senses when journaling, namely- the smells and fragrances, the sights, the touches, the tastes and the sounds, and that's what he did. He wrote for hours covering the reminisces of his past, the recent happening and things he did today until he reached the centre of the book.

By that time, the world around him had fallen asleep and the nightly creatures had awakened. He stretched and rubbed his tired eyes. He once again flipped through the pages he has filled. He felt anger bubbling in his nerves at how much life was there in his day or rather lack of it. He didn't feel like himself anymore.

Running away from his thoughts he took a paper cutter and scribbled 'Tony' on the hard bounding of the diary. Next, He lighted a candle and collected the wax into a tiny spoon. He produced a beaker of scarlet red thick fluid and added it to the wax. The room got filled with the scent of mud, wax and boiling blood as the liquid started to darken and become thicker. He took the wax and poured it under 'Tony' and lightly placed a seal over it. A couple of minutes later he lifted it up to have a crimson seal with a feather in centre.

He picked up the book and placed it on display. Seven other bloody sealed books lined next to it. Each with a different name engraved on it- Erica, Mezun, Yun, Marshall, Esme, Noel and Maria. He picked up the No.7 and parted for the day from his study. It took his eyes a walk from the study until the hall to finally adjust to the darkness surrounding him. But he didn't want to have any lights for his sister must have awakened by now. The darkness helped her heal from the incident.

He peeked into the master bedroom and saw his sister sitting cross-legged on the bed. Her once luscious hair now fell down her back at uneven length. She was starring outside the window as if waiting for something to happen or someone to appear.

"Would you like to eat a little bit? I brought some takeout," he offered. 

Not finding any response he settled down near her bed and ran his finger over the bloody seal on The Maria Book.

"I kept my promise," his said in a low voice, "I finally did it. I did it, love. You're free now. Everything will be back to how it was, everything will be alright. Just as I promised, dear."

He dictated the story from the book and brushed away tears from time to time. His sister sat unmoved. There was no way to know if she was listening but he knew she was. Hence he kept going until the sleep took over both of them. 

The night retired unaffected by the worldly matters and the morning takes over. He wakes up at the sound of a lost bird peeking inside the room. His sister was fast asleep. He patted her head with love and promised he would make things alright. He will return her wings and once again she will be able to fly through the whole house turning it back to the home it used to be. 

"I will make sure to do it today," he determined and went ahead with his routine.

_______

The moon has made his presence on the horizon and the birds were flying back home after a long day. 

"Your regular?" The waiter asked. 

"Yes, that would be good," He replied. 

While waiting for his food to arrive, he blankly watched at the water of The Green Lake. The way it shifted as a bee or mosquito touched its surface. And the way it splashed as bird droppings from the tree fell into it. 

He found himself intrigued by the branch which would fall any minute, nobody can hold on for so long. The branch becomes loosen as a bird came flying. He was counting seconds before it hits the water when his view got blocked by some passing students. 

The lanky Tony was walking backwards as he chatted with Maria. They laughed, they walked, they breathed and they lived. They lived.

A gush of wind came and the branch gave up likewise his food came and he gulped down his burning anger.

The local diner didn't celebrate more than some travellers on their way to the city and the regulars residing in the town. People didn't even make the effort of small talk anymore. After all, how many times can you ask a person how they are when you are anyway meeting them every day and know their life pretty well. It's the deep talk that was needed but how could that be done when all people did was run away from involvement. 

"Is this seat occupied?" A girl asked. 

She seemed to be similar in age to his sister, her petite body was clad in Jean shorts and a huge green hoodie. Her hair a messy bun with freckles on her nose. She was a beam of light in this forest, utterly out of place.

"No, it's all yours,"

"Thanks, I'm famished. The trains really need to up their game their food is shit and don't even get me started on their shitty services," 

"I don't get enough chances to take the trains so I'll take your word," 

A disk pizza and a can of coke were served, devoured and the check was ordered with seemingly a never-ending Spotify advertisement in the background.

"Hello, I'm Lily from The Summer Times," the girl passed a card across the table. "As we have just shared a meal together I would like to propose for an interview,"

He shifted in his seat. His shoulders cross to Lily. 

"I know it must be hard for you after your sister's suicide-"

"Attempted. Attempted suicide," he cleared.

"Yes... and do you think she was suffering from some kind of mental trouble?" 

"No!" He took a deep breath and controlled his voice, "No, it wasn't her decision. It wasn't her own choice. It wasn't her fault,"

"Then whose was it?" Lilly raised an eyebrow.

"Yours," he leaned across the table. "Everyone and mine,"

Lily couldn't control but smile with satisfaction, "thank you so much for sharing your pain with me. I wish the best for you and your sister,"

He parted with Lily and went to wash his face. He was feeling enraged and water has always had a calming impact on him. He walked out of the diner focusing on his breathing, 

Inhale...

Exhale... 

Inhale...

Exhale...

Inhale...

"Shit is crazy. You should have seen that dude's face when I asked about whose fault it was, like bitch I went and dug her grave," Lily talked on the phone as she tied her shoelaces. "How is that insensitive? If people were being shitty than that bitch should have thickened her skins, what kind of shitty double standards is this? Was she so pure? Didn't she had any contributions to make this world the way it is?"

"Imma telling you, that's how the practical world works. If you don't want to see that shit than close your eyes and hide because one needs to take all that shitty criticism and turn it into something gold, not be such a pussy," 

Lily turned around to see him looking right at her. She licked her lips trying to hide the embarrassment.

Exhale... he let go the breath he was holding. 

Lily readjusted the strap of her bag and started walking away in the direction of the crime scene.

_______

Hidden behind the dawn he followed Lily. Her words ringing inside his thoughts. 

She turned around in fury.

"What?!" 

He stood there feeling helpless. He wanted to tell her what he felt every day, he wanted her to feel the same way as him but no words could come to help right now. It was too late.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I see so many parents, brothers, and sisters, their eyes all empty. As if the person who died took away life from them as well. They look hollow and no shitty reasons could justify that. So, go home, please."

"You can see the hollow in the victim's family but can't see the lifeless body of the victims?"

"They made the choice,"

"No! It was forced upon them. Nobody wants to take their own life. It's insensitive people like you who make them go through troubles alone. Do you even know how much it hurts when nobody sees your emotional scars?!" 

"We all go through hell but we pass through it. Not stop in-between forever. It is pathetic if you have to go alone but you still need to!"

"I hope you cross your own hell because you anyway won't be able to run away from the evil residing inside you," he took a step back.

"Well, getting to listen to reality is hard for some people," she mumbled.

The faces of Tony and Maria flashed in front of his eyes. They both must be thinking the same thing that it was his sister's fault, not theirs. These people need to go away for his sister to walk freely again. 

He turned around picking up a rock and hit it square on her head. 

She collapsed down with a loud shriek. 

He held her hands and dragged her towards the darkness of the lake. A trail made on the ground and bruises start to appear on her body.

He threw her in a heap and picked up a rock again.

"People like you need to go away for my sister to walk freely again,"

Tears streamed down his eyes as he stood above her.

"Save me..." Lily said in a tiny voice. "Please... Save me,"

He hit the rock on her face and he kept hitting. He wailed for his sister and he wept for himself. More and more blood covered them as each blow landed on Lily's face and head. Her head was a mess, her lips were torn. Her cheekbones broken and her eyes were misplaced. He kept hitting her hard and the voice of rock falling on moist skin like that of the pounding of meat surrounded him until she wasn't Lily anymore but rather another victim. He let the rock fell on her smashed face and started walking back to his sister.

_______

After a tiring day, he climbed the steps and stood in front of his door before finally unlocking it. He dragged himself through a dead house and took a shower. The voice of water hitting the floor vibrated through the silence. He closed the tap and unclog the drain to make way for the crimson water to flow.

After patting himself dry he went to his study, which flooded his nose with wooden fragrance.

He sat down and opened the new diary he had brought recently. He wrote the date, his name on the top corner of the first page and started to write small sentences about his day, recalling even the minute details. He wrote for hours covering the reminisces of his past, the recent happening and things he did today until he reached the centre of the book. 

By that time, the world around him had fallen asleep and the nightly creatures had awakened. He rubbed his tired eyes and thought to visit ophthalmologist next week.

He engraved Lily on the book, lighted a candle and collected its wax into a tiny spoon. He produced a beaker of scarlet red thick fluid and added it to the wax. The room got filled with the scent of mud, wax and boiling blood as the liquid started to darken and become thicker. He took the wax and poured it in the centre of the book's flap and lightly placed a seal over it. A couple of minutes later he lifted it up to have a crimson seal with a feather in centre. 

He picked up the book and placed it on display. Next to it was eight other white sealed books with names of the people he knew didn't deserve to spend another minute in this world. He picked up The No.8 and parted for the day from his study. He stumbled upon a desk and hurt his little toe in the darkness but he didn't want to have any lights as his sister must have awakened by now. The darkness helped her heal from the incident.

He peeked into the master bedroom. A decaying body laid on the bed, traces of its bones could be seen through the white blanket with blotches of blood and fungus. The bedsheet underneath was soaked in the enzymes of his decaying sister. Her cheekbones appearing where the skin has melted away. One of her eye sockets was empty and flies were having a feast of her feet.

"Would you like to eat a little bit? I brought some takeout," he offered. 

Not finding any response he settled down near her bed and traced what he saw as the bloody seal from The Tony Book.

"I kept my promise," his said in a low voice, "I finally did it. I did it, love. You're free now. Everything will be back to how it was, everything will be alright. Just as I promised, dear."

He dictated the story from the book, saying each word clearly as he brushed away tears from time to time. His sister laid lifeless but he knew she was listening and hence he kept going until the sleep took over him. 

The night retires unaffected by the worldly matters and he wakes up by the flies buzzing near his ears. His sister was fast asleep. He patted her head with love and promised he would make things alright. He will return her wings and once again she will be able to fly through the whole house turning it back to the home it used to be. 

"I will make sure to do it today," he determined and went ahead with his routine.

+The End+